


Genesis

by hyuckedoff



Series: Santa Monica Beach [2]
Category: NCT (Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bullying, Childhood Trauma, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Huang Ren Jun-centric, Hyuck is the friend we need, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Little bit of Fluff, M/M, Mark doesn't know when to not tell a joke, Mark reminds me of If Im being Honest by Dodie and i JuST found that out, Mentioned Lee Jeno, Mentioned Na Jaemin, Mentioned Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Minor Violence, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stuttering, Summer, Sweet Lee Jeno, Trans Male Character, but also don't want, can be read without reading the first part, hardly though, not touched on a lot though, renjuns pov reminds me a little bit of Talk Me Down ugh :-(, youll get it im p sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 21:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17536205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckedoff/pseuds/hyuckedoff
Summary: A problematic delivery and movie night.





	Genesis

“Hyuck, open the door.”  
“Why should I?”  
“Because you love me?”  
“Debatable.”  
Renjun sighs as he leans his head on the apartment door, looking at his sneakers as he wonders how Jeno deals with this every day. He came here to drop off some meds, _not _to be apart of some game.__  
“There’s a key out there- use the context clues Jeno gave you.”  
Context clues? What?  
“You cannot be serious- you know I don’t listen to a thing Jeno says!”  
“‘Sounds like a 'you' problem.” Donghyuck sighs dramatically, Renjun could feel him staring through the small peephole in the door and, _god _, did he hate his friends sometimes. Deciding to entertain his mate, the blonde looked under the doormat, behind a trash bin in the apartment hallway, and in the multitudes of plastic plant pots. Hell, he even pulled the classic thinking face for comedic effect, his irritation dissipating as he heard Hyuck stifle a laugh.__  
After five more minutes, Renjun gave up and decided to let Hyuck know why he was here, shaking the bag that held his FTMs, pills rattling along with it.  
“I’ve got your meds, will you let me in now?” There’s a moment of silence before Hyuck unlocks the door, meeting the other’s dull eyes with his own bright ones that were partially covered by brown hair. He drags him in, laughing as Renjun chokes on the blueberry scented smoke in the air. At least it didn’t smell like plain old cigarettes.  
“By the way, it was on top of the door frame- probably couldn’t have reached it anyways.”  
Renjun punches his shoulder lightly and sets the bag down on the island in the kitchen.  
“You really need to open a damn window when you smoke- and I’m only an inch shorter than you, so?”  
“It’s a big enough difference for me to reach it and for you not to.”  
The blonde rolls his eyes as he opens the light grey curtains, letting natural light flood in and show him the splay of video games and controllers by the tv. Hyuck picks them up before the other says anything and disappears through the door to his room, decorated with a multicolored beaded curtain that rattles when he goes through. He comes back with an unlit cigarette between his lips and instantly clings onto his friend’s back.  
Renjun continues to move about, picking up CDs, cans, and crumpled up pieces of paper that litter the coffee table.  
“Don’t forget to take off your binder later, also Mark wants to check out this new Blockbuster-y place- I wanted to see if you’d wanna go, plus, Johnny said they sold bootlegs in the back and that one new DC movie is coming out so maybe they have it.”  
“Can’t, reserved Jen time.” Donghyuck released the boy from his hug, deciding to finally light his cigarette.  
“Isn’t every hour reserved for him?” The older sighed, collapsing on the grey couch.  
“Not necessarily, anyone can come and get us during the day, but 6 P.M and later is Jeno time- that’s why he’s with Jaemin right as we speak to work out or whatever.” The younger blows out a puff of smoke before joining the other.  
“Why not after six?” Renjun questions, resting his arm on the back of the couch, his feet now in Hyuck’s lap. He looks at the time on his watch, just now hitting 5:30 P.M .  
“We always go to the beach at night and just- I don’t know, let go? It’s just an _us _thing, I guess. You guys just don’t know because you’re always busy with your Law & Order reruns, Jaemin is usually too busy being an angel, and Mark is too busy getting his ass beat.”__  
“Whatever,”  
Renjun rolled his eyes, pulling his knees to his chest with a shuddery breath. Even after three weeks he still couldn’t get the image of said boy’s face smashed into the hot pavement. He shouldn’t be so affected.  
“Uh, speaking of Mark.”  
Donghyuck raised a brow as he looks at the blonde, waiting for him to continue.  
“Why’s he like that? ‘Trying to get people to fuck him up all the time and not knowing what the fuck a filter is and how to use it?”  
“I mean,” Hyuck takes a moment to ash his ciggy in the star-shaped ashtray, immediately bringing it back up to his mouth.  
“He wasn’t really _always _like this, he wasn’t so mouthy but still just as weird. You’ve seen his school pictures, he was a total dweeb- quiet, studying, reading, and writing. Always writing.”__  
Renjun nods, remembering the polaroids Donghyuck had in his scrapbook on his nightstand. Mark was a small kid, really lanky, blocky glasses, and braces for most of middle school; super endearing, he could say.  
“Is that all?” The younger chuckled at the question snarkily and shook his head.  
“No- on the contrary, while you were living it up in your ‘angelic boarding school paradise’, he was getting picked on 24/7 for his looks, stutter, and for being so fidgety; not to mention how he talked to himself, I mean, fuck, he still does. Just didn’t get the right help or any at all except for my weak ass.”  
Renjun sits up a little straighter, face hot from Hyuck’s assumption and from the new information. He’d love to point out that his _‘angelic boarding school paradise’ _was nothing but a fucking nightmare- something that taught him that the human body could indeed live off of thirty minutes of sleep a night, all other hours devoted to studying and trying to watch out for himself. Although, he could thank the place for teaching him to always be prepared and that pocket knives were your best friend, hell, he still had his in his back pocket and one under his pillow. Just in case.__  
Shaking off the prick of irritation, the blonde nods. That was a story to keep to himself, he was more of a listener anyways.  
“But we both moved here after high school for college. He just became more open, I guess. Like, him putting on contacts for the first time boosted his confidence and stupidity by a thousand- goodbye Korean Harry Potter.” Hyuck laughs at his own joke but bites his lip as he puts the cigarette out. Renjun watches silently as the boy gets lost in his own thoughts, shaking his head and patting his leg as he snaps out of his stupor.  
“ Mark’s still the same kid I’ve known, he’s only gotten to be more of a dick and bolder. But props to the bastard, he hasn’t gotten into any fights since the skate park,”  
Renjun mumbles a good before standing up,  
“I should get going, meeting up with ‘the man of the hour’.” Hyuck smiles at the older’s air quotes and walks him out.  
“You know, I think you being so caring at the skate park really scared him straight.”  
Renjun snorts at this and shakes his head.  
“More scared than caring, if I’m being brutally honest- and I’m pretty sure the face full of gravel did it for him.”  
To the blonde boy, it seemed implausible- especially if it’s Mark changing his mind because of someone’s emotions. If he didn’t change all those other times he patched him up or when Hyuck dragged him away, then why would this be any different?  
“He’s had worse happen to him, Junie. Believe me. Plus, he has a soft spot for you, trust the best friend on this one.”  
Renjun shrugged his shoulders with another eye roll before giving the younger a quick hug and bye before leaving, mind becoming fogged from the conversation.

_____ _

Renjun sighs as he sees Mark in front of the video rental place that was set in between the border of the boardwalk and run-down part of town. He was resting on a bench, eyes closed and hands gripping loosely on the edge of the seat. The blonde can’t help the small smile that appears when he tugs on Mark’s faded blue hoodie and said boy opens one eye to see who it is but quickly closes it again.  
“Not right now, I’m dreaming.”  
Renjun huffs softly as he tries to pull the older up by his limp hand.  
“I could’ve been relaxing with Hyuckie still, you know. But I made time to go out to see you and _this _is what I get?”__  
The raven-haired boy finally got up and stretched, the upcoming sunset making his skin glow subtly.  
“You know you’d rather be with me than Mr.Blueberry.”  
“Please don’t ever call Hyuck that again.” Renjun cringed; Mark was right though, when he did smoke, it was weed and usually after the first inhale of the smell it wasn’t that bad, while the blueberry smell honestly made him nauseous after thirty minutes.  
The video rental was like any other, nothing to marvel at. According to Mark, however, it was better than anything. Pulling Renjun through many aisles, the older would point out classics and ones he claimed didn’t get the credit they deserved.  
“I never would’ve pinned you as a film geek.” The blonde spoke as he looked at a copy of Vertigo in the other boy’s hand.  
“‘Dad owned them all, we always watched something from his collection on Fridays.”  
“Sounds nice,”  
Mark puts the movie back.  
“I-I never appreciated them though- I would’ve rather watched Speed Racer or some Disney movie.”  
“As would any kid.” Renjun walks beside the shelves.  
“I’d always watch People’s Court or Murder She Wrote with my mom.” Mark laughed at this and grabbed the younger’s hand, enabling him from wandering any further.  
“It’s actually really easy to picture that; you argue like a judge and bitch just like Judge Judy.”  
“You know what? I’ll take that as a compliment.” Renjun pushed the boy away, Mark not going too far with their hands still locked together.  
They went on, bickering back and forth lightly while looking at the several DVDs on display. Light laughs and playful eye rolls were a constant, Renjun couldn’t help but feel a bit at peace.

____

“I’m telling you, we can’t watch these all tonight,” Renjun tells the other, chuckling as he crossed his arms over his chest. They’ve finally chosen a set of movies, a little too many movies, to be quite honest.  
“We can! Like, Avengers is two hours and thirty minutes, M-moonrise K-Kingdom a-and Dope are too! Uh, Spider-Man- yea, Spider-Man is- is an hour and, And- ah fuck,” Mark stutters out, mind going a thousand miles an hour while his mouth struggled to keep up.  
Renjun shakes his head at the boy, it was the smallest bit endearing, just a little bit. He takes the DVDs from Mark and makes his way to the register, “Fine, But I’m **not** renting these movies just for them to go unwatched.” The taller nods quickly and fiddles with his hands, blinking harder than he should. As soon as they exit the video rental, Renjun takes ahold of Mark’s hand that wasn’t holding the bag of DVDs just as Mark tries to do the same thing. Their hands bump awkwardly and Renjun looks up at the older and laughs at the uncharacteristically red blush that has spread across his face. The blonde takes initiative and actually holds his hand on the second try, noticing how sweaty it was.  
“What’s up with you, Lee?”  
The raven-haired boy only shrugs as they continue to walk.  
“Just feel a little weird, I guess.”  
“Weird?”  
“Weird because anxiety kind of sucks and comes out of fucking nowhere, but good weird because I’m with you.” Renjun nudged the boy and shook his head out of habit.  
“Yea, anxiety kind of sucks- a lot, actually.”  
Mark squeezes his hand softly and laughs.  
“So you’re just going to ignore my confession towards you?”  
“I’ll deal with it later,”  
Renjun looks ahead of him, trying to cover how his eyebrows knit together in concentration as he thinks. It’s always been a little odd how Mark bounces back from his own episodes like that- even if they were small or seemed to be insignificant, it always baffled the younger with how quick he can come back from the deepest corners of his mind shrouded in unsure shadows and darkness and act as though nothing had happened. He knew the boy a little too well, the smallest habits speaking a thousand words to him. He, himself, had to at least take ten minutes to compose himself, sometimes he even had to take up an hour just to _breathe _. It was weird to see someone so emotionally in control- or seem to be anyway.__  
Mark walked Renjun down the street, dragging him by his hand and already knowing the route to the boy’s place by heart. The sun now sat atop the water, slowly being engulfed by the waves and light blue of the sky that threatened to turn into an even darker shade.  
_Maybe this was why Donghyuck and Jeno went out the to beach at this time. ___  
Renjun had wondered as he looked into the deep waves.  
There was something so serene about it; the scorching sun meeting the languid, cool air of the night. It was too perfect for them. For them. They had always been a good push and pull, a safe haven for each other, even before they were a certified thing.  
_Then again, that’s what it was like when Yukhei dated Hyuck- we all saw how that turned out. ___  
Renjun tells himself, feeling his fists clench at the thought.  
_But Jeno is soft, he is honest, he is patient in every meaning of the word. ( save for when he decked Mark, which he definitely deserved.) he was calm, cool, and collected but knew how to be a dumbass- ___  
“Everything Donghyuck needs,” He mumbles to himself aloud, Mark looks at him questioningly.  
“What about Donghyuck?”  
“He told me how he and Jeno go to the beach around this time” He whispered, mind still sidetracked.  
“We should spy on them,” Mark says with a jump in his step with big eyes and an excited smile.  
Renjun hummed in pretend thought before saying a flat ‘no’. The older groaned and stopped in his tracks, pulling the other boy to a halt too.  
“Why not?”  
“I’d rather not ruin their time together and be a creep- plus, we have movies to watch- one almost being _three _hours.” The blonde pushed the taller to move again as he grumbles something about him being no fun,__  
“Another time?’  
Renjun exhaled exasperatingly,  
“Another time.”

__

__

********

____

******** _____ _

This was probably a bad idea. At least the part where Renjun just about ate his weight in popcorn was. Other than that, ‘Movie Night’, as Mark called it, wasn’t so bad.  
The younger took one side of the couch, dark eyes barely held open around the fifth movie; Mark took the other side, eyes wide open and chewing on his bottom lip mechanically. Renjun looks at the older boy and tilts his head to the side in thought, boredom greeting exhaustion in a slow and foggy dance.  
“Mark, I don’t think I can make it.” Said boy raises one brow questioningly and leans a bit forward from his place on the couch.  
“Like I’m going to k.o in .2 seconds.” Renjun continued as he gets up lazily and stretches.  
“You could just sleep right here,” The taller says lightly, outstretching his arms for the boy to come into, the blonde only scoffs.  
“I’ll pass- just make sure you put all the pillows back where you found them and to fold that blanket _correctly _. Don’t trash my place and I won't kill you.” He adds in passing, Mark’s been here countless times, he knows better.__  
Renjun collapses onto his bed when he sees it in its dark blue glory, thankful that he took the time to change into sweats and a t-shirt right before the movie night commenced. He puts on his normal playlist before submitting to sleep, placing his phone on the bedside table, playing Gnossienne No. 4. He lays on his stomach, arms underneath his pillow, knocked out.  
As usual, his sleep was seemingly dreamless: a black, inky mess coagulated in his brain that formed simply nothing but dead space. It was familiar, empty of everything and nothing, but familiar.  
What wasn’t so recognizable was the sudden dip in his bed, sleep being interrupted and surged the small boy into a panic when a hand touched his shoulder delicately. Fight or flight took over Renjun’s body, pulling out the knife under his pillow he struggled to straddle whoever it was and nearly stabbed them if it wasn’t for their death grip on both of his wrists.  
Mark looked up with wide eyes, breathing heavy while the younger stared right back, too scared to move. They continued to stare, seemingly frozen in the moment as the sweet melody of Gymnopedie No. 1 flowed through the air.  
The smaller boy felt his face flush with heat, flashback after flashback corrupting his mind, goosebumps breaking out of his skin, and perspiration beginning on his temple. Renjun finally jerked back and flung the knife out of his hand and onto the carpeted floor, gripping the sheets tight with pale knuckles.  
“I’m sorry- I’m really fucking sorry.” Shaky words fell from his lips as he looked at the other that now sat up with his doe eyes burning into his own, breath coming out in slight puffs.  
“I-I don’t know- didn’t _know _what I was doing- I know it sounds so stupid but you _ **have __** _to believe me-” Renjun blinked rapidly, throat tightening around each word, growing tighter as he continued to talk.____  
“It’s okay, Junie.”  
“What? No, it’s not. I-I almost _**stabbed __** _you for fuck’s sake! You can’t just say that it’s-”__ Mark scooted closer, grabbing Renjun by the back of the neck to bring him closer, nose barely touching and eyes never leaving each other.  
“I _said _it’s okay.” He repeated, voice drowning in authority, Renjun’s fearful eyes now cascaded into confusion. The older moved his hand from his neck to a pale, shaky hand that still gripped into the blue material, he smiled.__  
“It was for protection, right?” Renjun nodded and loosened his grip, letting the taller hold his hand fully.  
“That doesn’t matter, I could’ve-”  
“But you didn’t. Plus, it would’ve been pretty funny if you did.” Mark’s quiet laugh was still just as bright as it was any other day, Renjun would’ve been lying if he said it didn’t help him ease his nerves even the smallest bit.  
That didn’t stop him from gawking at his lack of humor, though.  
“How would that be _anywhere _close to funny?” He seethed, shoving his shoulder half-heartedly.__  
“Because,” the raven-haired boy began, tugging the smaller into his chest and diligently wrapping his arms around him.  
“I’ve been trying to stop getting into fights and the first time I happen to get into one again, it’s with the person I tried to stop it for.”  
The blonde huffed as he came in contact with his hard chest and tried to use the boy’s shoulder’s to pull himself back.  
“If this is your fucked up way of flirting, I’m really _not _in the mood, Mark.”__  
“No-uh, it was a bad joke but uh- I’m serious about the last part.” Mark shrugged, smiling a bit as he felt the other relax in his arms. Renjun let out a small laugh in demurral, pursing his lips as he thought back to what Donghyuck had said.  
“It’s kind of fucked up, isn’t it?” he said, motioning with his index finger between the two of their bodies.  
“This.”  
Mark nods quietly and moves to lay himself and the other down facing each other. The smaller sighs and closes his eyes. Claire de Lune starts to play and Renjun feels his heart beat even faster than it was before; he lets himself be absorbed into the music and just _breathe _.__ “Do you think you’ll ever tell me why you have a knife under your pillow?”  
Renjun opens his eyes at the question, staring into a pair of big, glimmering doe eyes.  
“No.”  
Mark grinned at the answer, he wasn’t surprised in the least.  
“Please forget this ever happened.”  
“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment ANYTHING! I love to know what you guys are thinking!! Honestly makes it even more fun to write oops.  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/hyuckedoff)


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